Paging Mr. Hitchcock....

It was bathtime and I was meeting resistance head-on.

Youngest: (running nekkid through the house hell-bent on escape) NOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA TAKE A BATH!!!!!

Me: (spotting a plastic bike) Hey Youngest! Wanna ride your bike into the bathroom?

Older: (from bathtub) I'm a good boy Mommy. I'm already in the bathtub.

Me: (rolling eyes) Yes dear. You're a good boy.

Youngest (I gotta come up with better blog names than this): (climbing onto the bike) YES!!!! PUSH ME MOMMY!!!

Me: (developing a headache from all of the yelling): Ok honey. Push down on the pedal with this foot. (Youngest does) Now push down with this foot. Good girl.

Bike Wheel: (falls off bike)

Youngest: (also falls off bike)

Bug: (scurries out of wheel)

Me: (picking up wheel and trying to put it back on bike) Yech. Hmm...how do you get this back on? I wonder what all of this gritty black stuff is?

Bugs--a veritable plague: (scurry out of wheel)

Me: (dropping wheel and bike) IEEEEEE!!!!!!! BUGS!!!! IEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! YOUNGEST GET IN THE BATHTUB RIGHT NOW!!!!!! IF THEY FOLLOW YOU THEY'LL DROWN!!!!!! FLEE!!! SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!

Youngest: (Runs directly into bathroom and dives headfirst into the tub) giggle

Older: (from tub) giggle

Me: (picking up bike & wheel, tearing the sliding door open & flinging bike out into the wilderness that is our potted tomato collection) IEEEEEEEE!!!!! VACUUM CLEANER!!!! WILL VACUUM THE LITTLE BASTARDS TO DEATH!!!! IEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Me: (being exceptionally cool under pressure) DIE!!!!! DIE!!!!! NO! YOU DON'T GET TO ESCAPE UNDER THE FRIDGE!!!!! DIE!!!! DIE!!!!!

Seriously people. I have no idea what these little bastards were. Tall Guy insists that they were probably harmless little earwigs, and I know that earwigs supposedly have a bad rep and don't really crawl into your ears when you sleep and lay their eggs in your eardrum only to have them hatch and crawl their little larval bodies into your brain as a food source, but DAMN!!!

Notice to all buggy extended family reunions: The Clahnamom household is not accepting future reservations.